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Years ago I wrote some verses for that great Tom Lehrer song "We Will All Go Together When We Go". Lehrer was writing about global nuclear annihilation, a distinct possibility at the time. My verses also contemplated nuclear annihilation.
Today , 2015, while nuclear annihilation is still quite possible, as there is a new cast of "madmen who would use them", the greater danger is slower extinction of the human species , and many other species, due to human over-population and consequent ever-worsening ecological impacts, including global climate change.. So we might not all go together, ie simultaneously, but we could all go more slowly.
Maybe I should change the line to "we will all go more slowly when we go" ? Indeed, I think I will do that. The result is below :

MIDI music : "We Will All Go Together When We Go"


We Will All Go More Slowly When We Go

(to the tune of "We Will All Go Together When We Go" by Tom Lehrer

by Pam Green , © 2015, 2020


We will all go more slowly when we go :
Global Climate Change has ended rain and snow.
Though a chill would be damn nice,
There's no longer even sham ice
In the Ninth Circle of the In-ferno

We will all hear the tolling of that bell
That summons us to Heaven or to Hell ;
But if you ever get a day off
There won't be much of a payoff,
For there'll be nobody left whom you can tell.

We will cease before midnight with much pain
River Lethe will be aflood with acid rain .
Charon's boat needs to be larger
Hordes of passengers to barger
(and I need another line for this cinquain)

       You will all go directly to your respective Nirvanas
       You won't return as mice or men or as bananas.

We will all die more slowly when we die
It won't matter if you're gay or straight or bi-
Civil Union or Marriage
When you ride in Death's carriage
The horses' heads are towards E-ternit-tie

It won't matter if you're black or white or green,
If you are a pauper or a queen.
Vulcans, Klingons, or Cardashes,
When we're all reduced to ashes,
It turns out that all bigotry's obscene

       You will all go directly to be judged by Osiris
       Your soul may not outweigh a feather or a virus.

And we will all go more slowly when we go,
Ev'ry denizen of Desolation Row.
No re-writing your Back Pages
By those self-appointed sages
Who cite God as the source of all they know

With a lot less conversation and still less action ;
Seven billion corpses can't get no satisfaction.
No more laying all the blame
On that "Man of weath and fame" ;
It's each one of us who did the malefaction.

With a chorus of whimpers, not a bang,
Without the drama of nuclear Sturm and Drang,
As the global climate's warming
And the bees no longer swarming,
We will all hang together when we hang.

Our world won't end in frost, won't end in fire ,
No phoenix rising from our funeral pyre :
With drought's impact on farming,
Loss of acquifers alarming,
Starvation's not a nice way to expire.

The world won't end in fire or in ice
Widespread epidemics will suffice :
With emerging diseases
And the old ones spread by fleas-ses
With a little help from 'skeeters , rats, and mice.

As we race ungently into that good night,
It won't matter who was on the Left or Right.
Population explosion
And pollution corrosion
Will have turned our planet into global blight

We will all go more slowly when we go
Our extinction is inexorable but slow.
Our excessive population
Fueling ev'ry devastation
Seven billion, counting, still those numbers grow.

footnotes :





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site author Pam Green copyright 2003
created 7/11/2015 revised 9/02/2015, 9/03/2020
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