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Talking Dog joke, revised to honor RBG

revised by Pam Green, © 2019

The Talking Dog joke is a classic, with several versions. Recently I noticed that the final lines could easily be revised to honor my hero, hero to every feminist, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

the original version

A man walks into a bar with his dog.

"This is a talking dog. If this dog can answer my questions, who will buy me a drink ?" he asks.

"You can have one on the house" the bartender says.

The man turns to his dog. "What goes on the top of a house ?"

Dog: "Roof."

Man: "What does tree bark feel like ?"

Dog: "Rough".

Man: "Who is the greatest baseball player ever ?"

Dog: "Ruth".

The bartender is clearly annoyed and snaps at the man. "That's enough. You and your dog, get out."

After the man and the dog are thrown out, the dog looks sadly at his owner. "Should I have said DiMaggio ?"

(and perhaps the dog might have added, singing, "Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio ?")

the revised version

A man walks into a bar with his dog.

"This is a talking dog. If this dog can answer my questions, who will buy me a drink ?" he asks.

"You can have one on the house" the bartender says.

The man turns to his dog. "What goes on the top of a house ?"

Dog: "Roof."

Man: "What was your life before we met, your life as a homeless dog ?"

Dog: "Rough".

Man: "Who is the greatest Supreme Court Justice ever ?"

Dog: "Ruth".

The bartender is clearly annoyed and snaps at the man. "That's enough. You and your dog, get out."

After the man and the dog are thrown out, the dog looks sadly at his owner. "Should I have said William O Douglas. ?"

The dog pauses and ponders, then says "I think we've been Ginsburned"

• Updated The Great Dissenter to add reference to the latest RBG movie, "On The Basis of Sex" and to tweak the lyrics a bit. In honor of her birthday, March 15, "the Ides of March" --- let tyrants beware !