Masters' Peace Bakery
This is a satire on Masterpiece Bakery, the bakery in Colorado that refused to bake wedding cakes for gay couples. Surely that opens up a business oppertunity for a bakery that is happy to provide Gay Wedding cakes and goodies for other under-served and discriminated against clients.
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We are two women who are Master Bakers, also Chess Masters (we met at a tournament). We were raised in the Jewish tradition of "tikkum olam", "repairing the world", and our contribution is to bring a little Peace to the "culture wars" and to bakery bigotry.
Masters' Peace Bakery seeks to be THE best bakery in all of Colorado to supply cakes for events that other bakeries discriminate against. We seek to bring peace and joy to your event.
(Of course we will also bake for people and events that other bakeries do not discriminate against. We wouldn't want to be guilty of "reverse discrimination".)
Let Masters' Peace bake a magnificent fabulous cake for your Gay Wedding. A delicious cake to enhance your long awaited blessed event. We promise that the milk used in your cake will not be skim milk ! (unless of course you ask us to use skim milk, because we want you to be happy with your cake).
And please don't be misled by the name "Masters' Peace". We don't only cater to mens' gay weddings. We are absolutely just as eager to provide a cake for womens' gay weddings. (and we don't discriminate against non-gay couples : you are just as entitled to marry as gay couples are, and your money is just as good.)
Of course we can also supply pasteries for your Wedding Shower or Batchelor Bash or Batchlorette Bash.
And should your love and marriage lead to a baby carriage, either through adoption or (for you ladies) by AI or any other way, we can certainly supply your Baby Shower. For boy babies, we can supply kosher cupcakes (with the top and iceing cut off) for the Bris.
We also supply Divorce Cakes, a long rectangular cake with the partners at either end and faceing away from each other.
Of course we'd rather supply a scrumptious Anniversary Cake to celebrate your enduring union.
We also can provide bakery goodies for other types of events.
Do you want a cake for your dog's Bark Mitzvah ? We can supply a people-edible cake and a dog-edible cake. If you will bring us a few photographs of your dog, we can do a portrait cake. (A little more lead time is needed for portrait cakes.) We can even supply Kosher cakes.
To celebrate the twice annual Equine-Nox, we suggest an oatmeal-carrot cake, tasty for human and horse. Tested and approved by our own horses ! This can be a portrait cake if you bring us photos. Please don't bring your horse into our shop however.
Does your cat demand you observe a formal Cat-echism Day in which you renew your vows to worship Her as the deity that She is ? We can bake a cake with the figurine of the Egyptian Cat-Goddess, Bast , on top. Or perhaps you'd rather observe Cat-aclysm Day, also known as Cat-atrophe Day, remembering and mourning those valuable breakables that your cat has knocked off the mantlepiece or bookshelf ?
UPDATE : July 14, 2019
Today is July 14, or as the French call it "le Cat-torze Juillet". Celebrated in France and Quebec, but you and your cat can celbrate too. Celebrate "Bast-steel Day" with a cake topped with a steel idol of the Goddess Bast. Celebrate "Bast-steal Day" if your cat is given to taking items to play with and the leaving them where you can't find them, might as well have stolen them. Or perhaps "Bast's Tail Day", when you celebrate the eloquence of the tail language of your cat. (Unfortuately this cannot be celebrated by Manx cats.)
The Spanish version would be "Cats-stille Day".
We also bake pies, so do come to us to supply your Pi Day party. But if you want pizza for your party, we'd refer you to our dear friends and next door neighbors, "Two Bi Guys From Venice" pizza palace. (That's Venice Beach , California, not Venice, Italy.)
For Ruth Bader Ginsburg's birthday, March 15, we can supply a cake in the shape of the Supreme Court building with Ruth's portrait on top. Definitely not made with skim milk !
We are embarrassed to confess that we hadn't thought of this until a customer made a request. Of course we would be happy to bake goodies for your Trans Celebration. You don't need to be an Olympic Gold Medal winner (but if you are, we can put gold foil coins on your cake and a decoration of Olympic rings).
It's up to the customer to tell us what kind of cake would please you. Perhaps you'd like a marble cake with swirls of raspberry and blueberry cake ?. Or perhaps a layered torte with those fillings ? Just tell us what you would like and we will try to figure out how to do it.
We don't do ice cream ourselves, but we happily refer you to our dear friends, "Benedicta and Jeraldine's", an ice cream specialty shop
We are soon to acquire the photographic equipment and the 3-D printer to enable us to make portrait figurines for the top of your cake. This will require substantial lead time, because 3-D printing is rather slow.return to top of page