This is another song having a bit of fun with those who take protection sports a bit too seriously. In the spirit of the immortal Tom Lehrer, who is my humor hero. Lehrer's song "Fight Fiercely , Harvard" was a facetious football fight song. So this is a facetious Schutzhund fight song.
 
"Fass", which litterally means "hold" or "take hold" , is the conventional command in Schutzhund for the dog to bite the decoy, also called the "bad guy" or the "helper" (because he helps the judge to test the dog), who receives the bite on a padded sleeve. "Out" or "aus" is the command to let go , ie to stop biting. Schutzhund (like French Ring Sport) is really the canine equivalent of karate : training for a ritualized fight that in theory gives you the skills for the real thing if the need should ever arise. Or as Jorrocks might have said, "Schutzhund is the image of war, with none of its guilt and only one percent of its danger."
 
        

FASS FIERCELY, BOUVIE !

(to tune of "Fight Fiercely, Harvard" by Tom Lehrer)


by Pam Green , © 1990


 

Fass fiercely Bouvie,
     Fass ! Fass ! Fass !
The instant that the decoy moves.
Until then , lie down and bark:
That's what the Judge approves !
How we will celebrate our victory
Of gaining High in Trial and Schutzhund Three !
     (How jolly !)
Chase that decoy down the field , and
     Fass ! Fass ! Fass !

Fass fiercely, Bouvie,
     Fass ! Fass ! Fass !
Impress them with your courage, do
Oh Bouvie, please ignore the decoy's threats :
Be of stout heart and true !
Come on , Bouv, earn those letters for your name;
Don't let the Judge percieve it's just a game !
     (Oh goody.!)
Please bite to kill or maim, and
     Fass ! Fass ! Fass !
But please "Out" cleanly , and
     Fass ! Fass ! Fass !

"Fight Fiercely , Harvard" can be heard on the record albulm "Songs by Tom Lehrer" (Reprise #RS-6216) and "Tom Lehrer Revisited" For those musically trained perverts who like to play the piano, we reccomend "Too Many Songs by Tom Lehrer" (Pantheon Books).

 

 
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site author Pam Green copyright 2003
created 1990 revised 6/23/03
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