This song describes the qualities of the ideal Bouvier, inspired by that quinessential pluperfect Bouvier bitch, my beloved soulmate Chelsea. she really did have all the Bouvier virtues and at one time or another got a chance to prove it. Published in The Working Bouvier Book, 1984, and I think also in Dog Sports Magazine. This song has the landmark of being the first ever to celebrate Bouvier flatulence, and one reader protested "I wouldn't want people to know my Bouvier does that." "Well, honey, they are going to know that one of you two did it !"
THE DIRTY BOUVIER SONG(to tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic")by Pam Green , © 1984, 1993It has been my joy and glory to be partners with a Bouv, She is a bitch whose attributes I totally approve, She was bred to be a working dog to make the cattle move ! She is a Bou-vi-er ! Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie, Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie; she is a Bou-vi-er ! Her beard is stained with ordure, but her soul is sparkling clean ; Her coat is in disorder, but her conscience is serene; Towards her family she's loving, but towards criminals she's mean ! She is a Bouvier ! Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie, Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie; she is a Bou-vi-er ! Her eyes shine forth with kindness, though her feet are mucked with mud; She will guide you in your blindness, though her chin is caked with crud; She will rescue missing children, and she'll shed the burglar's blood ! She is a Bouvier ! Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie, Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie; she is a Bou-vi-er ! Should a stranger raise suspicion, she has judgement most discrete : For she will not harm the harmless, but a thug who won't retreat Shall be bludgeoned to submission by her forceful filthy feet ! She is a Bouvier ! Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie, Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie; she is a Bou-vi-er ! In the woods of Mendocino, she'll pretend to be a bear; In the parks of San Francisco, she'll bid muggers to beware, For she'll gladly use her scissors bite to shave the rapist's heir ! She is a Bouvier ! Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie, Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie; she is a Bou-vi-er ! She will herd your sheep and cattle, and she'll pull the children's carts; She will be your faithful comrade 'till the breath of life departs; She will euthanize the Bad Guys with her dreadful deadly farts ! She is a Bouvier ! Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie, Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie Groovy, groovy, she's a Bouvie; she is a Bou-vi-er ! (and , that we never forget our bears' forebears :) [sung mournfully :] They were born to share the workload of the peaceful Flemish farms, But they died on fields of battle, bareing teeth while bearing arms; Now whenever sabres rattle, Bouvie ghosts all woof alarms ! They all were Bouviers ! |
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| site author Pam Green | copyright 2003 |
| created 1984 | revised 5/29/03 |
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