That's Why The Lady is a Bitch

by Pam Green , © 2015

(to tune of "That's Why The Lady is a Tramp", by Rodgers & Hart)

I've dined on tofu and I've dined on steak.
Gone to a wedding, might as well be a wake.
My quest for knowledge wasn't spurred by a snake..
Married folks live tandem but I drive single hitch.
That's why this lady is a bitch.

     Most human social circles spin too fast for me ;
     My "canine pack" is the right place to be

My dogs act hungry even though they just ate ,
They want their walkies and they say they can't wait.
We don't waste time on the quest for a mate :
I live with dogs and I ain't gonna switch.
That's why this lady is a bitch

I'm not alone when I retire to bed :
Dogs at my feet and sides and next to my head,.
They lean against me as heavy as lead.;
It may get crowded but I still find my nitche,
That's why this lady is a bitch.

I pay my dues to the feed store and vet,
My dogs may break me, but it ain't happened yet.
We live quite simply and we know no regret.
I'm slightly soiled, but I'm not filthy rich
That's why this lady is a bitch

    My dogs love San Francisco, it's so cold and damp :
    In summer they think it's real swell
    To play with other dogs out at Point Isabelle.
     I love dog movies if they're retro and camp ;
    That's why I eye "Lady and the Tramp"

I love male dogs but they are playing a game ;
A female's serious with no sense of shame..
Our love is unconditional, we never place blame ,
We have no secrets, because dogs never snitch ;
That's why I'm proud to be a bitch.
     Just remember I'm the Alpha Bitch !