Once there were lots of Ewoks, somewhere amid the Galaxies,
Living on the moon of Endor, sheltered by the redwood trees.
Onto the moon of Endor, came a homeless Bouvier,
Asking to join the Ewoks, join in all their work and play.
But the Ewoks answered "No ! Your're not welcome here.
There's no room beneath our trees; so get lost and quickly, please !"
Off paced the lonesome Bouvie. Little could that Bouvie guess
That Lucas would make a movie and place all Ewoks in distress.
Invading the moon of Endor, came a horde of men in white
Armour, much like the Ring-suits Bouviers adore to bite.
Then one foggy Endor dawn, Solo came to say,
"Bouvie , wipe away your tear, stand up tall , and grasp a spear !"
"Then you can join the Ewoks, rescuing the Galaxy,
Equal to any Ewok, and near as good as Chewbaccy !"
Chirpa, the Ewok Chieftain, added "Bouvie, with your huge black nose,
Use your olfactory powers to ferret out our hidden foes !"
Later in the foggy morn, Princess Leia urged,
"Bouvie, with your beard so foul, you can learn to wear a cowl !"
"Then you can join the Ewoks, rescuing the Galaxy,
Unthrone the evile Emperor, so the Throne will pass to me!"
Logray, the Ewok Medic, added "Bouvie, with your fang-filled jaws,
Help us deport these strangers, who broke our immigration laws !"
In the foggy afternoon, Luke the Jedi pled,
Bouv who ate my father's hand, won't you lead our desperate band !"
"Then you can join the Ewoks, rescuing the Galaxy;
Help us destroy the Deathstar, guide us on to Victory !"
Wicket, the teenaged Ewok, begged "Bouvie, I'm too young to die;
Bouvie , I really need you , but I'm much too old to cry !"
In the foggy Endor eve, Yoda whispered low,
"Bouvie, with your pointed ear, listen well and you shall hear:"
"It's hard to become a Jedi, when one is very small and green.
But you can become an Ewok if your Bouvie soul is clean !
Just as I became a Jedi, the first of a non-human race,
You can become an Ewok, in spite of your un-flattened face."
Deep within the foggy night, Obi-Wan proclaimed,
"Bouvie, with your bark so hoarse, you need only trust the Force !"
"Then you shall be an Ewok ! And you shall save the Galaxy,
And celebrate with all the Ewoks by watering a redwood tree."
Then all the Ewoks shouted, cheered "Bouvie-Ewok, thanks a lot !
We'll have a Victory Party, with music, dancing, wine, and pot !"