This is the women's version of "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Simon & Garfunkel. Their version is adrressed to men, and it would probably work as well for gay men as for straight men if you merely change "she" to "he" in the lyrics.
As I was working on the women's version, I came to realize that some lines would be appropriate for a woman needing to leave an abusive relationship. The song works as well for gay or straight women, just adjust the pronoun as needed.
I am repeating the framing lyrics from the original song
 

MIDI music "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover or Husband

by Pam Green , © 2015


 

The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
For the more I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
So I repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover,
fifty ways to leave your lover

Just slip out the gate, Kate, make a new plan, Jan
Don't need to be coy, Joy, just listen to me
Hop on the plane, Jane, don't need to explain, Lane,
Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free

There's no need to be mean, Jean
Simply bid him "Adieu" , Lou
Just tell him "farewell" , Nell
Or perhaps "go to hell !"

Face up to the truth , Ruth,
Southern belles can secede , Meade
It's time to debark, Larque,
Just leave him his ring, and leave on the wing

     (and for those with abusive spouse, partner, lover, whatever::)

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said, I appreciate that, then would you please explain about the fifty ways

It's not too late to flee, Bea,
There's a shelter for you , Lou,
Walk away from the strife , wife,
And start a new life.

Time to leave on the run, Hon, take the dog and depart smart :
Grab the very next train, Jane, no need to accept pain,
Time to leave the abuse, Luce, either leave him or kill, Jill,
Read Betty and Glor', Nor', and slam out that door !

She said, why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover,
fifty ways to leave your lover

(Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, and Nora leaving "The Doll's House")

 

 
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site author Pam Green copyright 2003
created 6/27/2015 revised 9/01/2015
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