Bingo's Song

This is a song that I wrote to cheer myself up when I was trying to cure one of my rescues , Bingo, of the uncharming habit of eating his own feces. It's not easy to be funny about copraphagia, but a few of you with sufficiently gross sense of humor may enjoy this song.

SITE INDEX	BOUVIER	RESCUE	DOG CARE
PUPPY REARING	TRAINING	PROBLEMS	WORKING DOGS
BOOKS	VERSE	IMAGES	MISCELLANEOUS

<a href="bingos_song_ifeelpretty.mid">[Play Sound]</a>
MIDI music : I Feel Pretty

BINGO'S SONG

(to the tune of "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story)

by Pam Green, copyright 1993

Have you met my big black dog, Bingo?
He's got a little problem or two.
It's something not lyric to sing, oh !
It's something he does with his doo.

He smells ghastly, he smells loathsome.
He smells loathsome, disgusting , and vile !
It's unwholesome :
Copraphagia has spoiled his smile !
la, la, la, la, la

You can tell he's coming from a mile away
Except against a strong counter-wind.
You can tell he's there in the night or day,
And you'll notice the sin that he's sinned !

He's appalling, he's alarming.
He's abhorrent, aberrant, and weird !
It's not charming :
Copraphagia has soiled his beard !
la, la, la, la, la

See the big black Bouvie at the farmhouse door,
The one with the shit-eating grin.
Though he begs to enter and his eyes implore,
Do you wonder we don't ask him in ?

He smells shitty, oh so shitty.
He's a dismal, disgusting disgrace!
It's not pretty :
When he offers kisses towards your face!
He smells shitty, oh so shitty.
That our city has banned him from town :
They've banned smoking, nuclear weapons,
And his shit-streaked frown.

(I live in the rural hinterlands outside of Davis, an ultra-civilized university town that actually does have a municipal ordinance banning smoking and one banning nuclear weapons within the city limits.)

site author Pam Green	copyright 2003
created 1993	revised 9/03/2014 (added MIDI)
return to top of page	return to Site Index